Saturday 6 September 2008

So you fancy a four poster?


Bed that is, - what did you think I meant?
Yes I know, you've always fancied a romantic weekend in a room with a four poster bed. Plenty to tie the rope around you think.
Well I've tried one and it really doesn't work for rope bondage, trust me. 6 feet x 7 feet it was. Now unless you're tieing up a giraffe, in which case you may have other problems, when you secure the various limbs to the posts they won't go anywhere near. And I was tieing up a big man. There was loose rope from the wrists and ankles to the posts. (well, we didn't get as far as the ankles but that's another story) And loose rope means wriggle room which is not the desired effect.
And if you want to use a length of rope round your partner and under the bed it would have to be a long length, which is good for me being the one selling it to you but possibly not for you. There'd also be a lot of crawling around and there'd still be wriggle room. And its miles to walk round the bed from post to post. I did like it, a lot, but it had nothing to do with bondage.
No, what works best is a simple single bed with woodwork, or maybe a small double. Well you can sleep somewhere else can't you!
That way you can tie the wrists and ankles right up against the corners immobile and its not too far to pass the rope under the bed to secure the body.
Enjoy!

Sunday 25 May 2008

"Hi, its me again"

"Hi, its me again." - These are the words this bondage rope seller dreads. Yes, you asked me for a quote for a complicated set of ropes and now you want me to tweak it a bit and send you a link.

But that was weeks ago. What have you been doing? Waiting for payday? Burying your Granny?


Never mind you're here again now. But this particular bondage rope seller has a memory only slightly more efficient than a demented hamster so try to help her out a bit.


If you're doing the "Hi, its me again" bit by email then its not too bad. I can at least scrabble frantically through my Messages Sent box for the original quote. (so long as you haven't changed your email address, name, other vital details. Yes I know you assumed a special ID to buy from me. (Why?) but could you try to remember what it was)


If you're on the phone then I'm pretty well sunk and grasping desperately for clues. And no, I don't want to start the quote again 'cos it never comes out to the same figure twice and you'll notice.


The customer I really love is the one who starts with a brisk summary of our last conversation. Even if it was only 30 minutes before. Yes, the engineer rope master who already suspects my demented hamster mind and makes allowances for it.


Bound to Please

Sunday 11 May 2008

A few thoughts about gags...

A few thoughts about gags. Well, I hate them. Not that anyone's ever tried to gag me, but then you'd worked that out already? No, what I object to is the safety aspect. You have a nice safe bondage scene with shears at the ready and a "safe" word agreed, utterance of which sends your partner leaping to release you. And then you're gagged and you can't utter it at all. Cue immediate panic.

And the things that some of you suggest for gags! No, you're not to use one of my silk bondage scarves, you'll drool all over it. OK, technically its your silk bondage scarf seeing as how you've paid for it but I'd still rather you didn't drool all over it. Or have to cut it when you get the knot stuck.

And not bondage tape either. Nice stuff but not when you're trying to find the end in the dark and in a hurry. Not easy to cut safely when its stuck close to the skin either.

And one of my darling jewels of customers in New York wanted to roll up his partner's panties for a gag. "Do you think its too demeaning?" he asks me. Well, what's really going to be demeaning is having to explain to a Coroner what he was doing when they came unrolled and choked her.


No, if you really both fancy a gag for heavens sake buy a proper quick release ball gag, obtainable from just about any Adult store.


But not from Bound to Please

Wednesday 16 April 2008

Another week, another dollar....



Another week, another dollar earned. Well, not that many dollars, not since it hit a massive low against the GB £. Really my American friends, I'm still not that expensive for quality bondage rope, I'm worth every cent.

But a fair number of £'s and a cartload of Euros. I should really be writing this in French

So, where do I earn my pennies? Talking to the customers? No, thats fun, not a proper job at all.

Cutting and whipping and packing? No its always a pleasure handling beautiful stuff.

No, I'll tell you where this business really hurts, and thats buying bondage rope!

Try dealing with two old fashioned UK companies, one of them still has the original cobble stones outside,

"What will you be using it for?"

Shibari

"Whats that then?"

Google it

"Whats that then?"

And then you finally get them to make it right and they do it for a year and then the next delivery is totally different. What have you done to my order?

"We thought you'd like it a bit thicker, so we made it in a thicker yarn"

Well I don't,- go away and make it properly please.

"We haven't got that fine yarn any more,- it was too expensive, the thicker yarn's much better for,...what was it you were using it for?"

Shibari.

"Whats that then?"

3 months down the line and I've financed the buying and dyeing of the right fine quality yarn and they've made a bit and sent it to me to approve. No,- why can't you make it the way you made it before?

"We thought you'd like it a bit thicker for.....what was it you wanted it for?"

You can see why everyone else buys from China can't you? But not me. The British made bondage rope really is better and so I soldier on to bring you the finest UK quality.
But don't ever say I don't earn my pennies.

Monday 24 March 2008


How long should my bondage rope be?

One of the many questions I’m asked on my journey through life as a bondage rope seller.

So, what sort of rope bondage do you want to explore?

Is it a bit of “tie me to the bedpost on a Saturday night”, or do you want to create the ultimate Shibari Kikkou, or maybe a rope corset for your next party?

"Oh no, we're not into all that kinky stuff"

Every customer, no matter what it is that they fancy, always but always says that about everything else that anyone else might be into.

Well, lets start with the “tie me to the bedpost on a Saturday night” scene.

And the next question is, how big?

No, not your partner, although some of you are kind enough to send me the most fascinating details of the personal dimensions of your partners. You know who you are, Eric from Ohio. And no, I don’t believe a word (or inch) of it.

No, what I’m asking is, how big is your bed? And does it actually have bedposts? Its good to think about these things, (although not too often and not in the office) preferably in advance of your hot Saturday night date.

Other important things to think about are how fast you can set your partner free in a panic (get EMT shears) and what your partner is going to do if you pass out in a drunken haze (so don’t drink and use soft cotton bondage rope with a bit of give in it that your partner can probably bite through if desperate)

So, where were we, - how long should my bondage rope be?

Well, why not start with 10 metres (33 feet), cut it into 4 lengths or 2 (or ask your friendly on-line bondage rope seller to do it for you) and you’ve got enough to secure four limbs to the bedposts of the biggest bed. (check for bedposts, - see above)

Bed not that big? Well, you’ll find a use for it.